SGA fic: Big Needles and Little Devices

[dimity_blue]

Author: Arnie
Rating: All
Genre: Gen, missing scene, humour
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be
Length: 1,089 words
Summary: Missing scene for "Hide and Seek"



Big Needles and Little Devices
by Arnie

Rodney rubbed his arm as he made his way out of the Infirmary. There'd really been no need for Carson to jab that big needle in quite so hard. Of course, it would be worth it if the gene therapy worked, if not...well, Rodney wouldn't be too pleased at letting that witch doctor get near him with a needle.

He glanced down at the Ancient artefact in his hand, but it remained stubbornly dark. Resisting the urge to inform it that he'd just been jabbed with a huge needle for its sake, Rodney stalked back to his lab. It had better work, that was all, or Rodney would have something to say to that voodoo-practising sadist.

An hour later, Rodney was close to tearing his hair out. Maybe the artefact was broken. He considered asking one of the ATA-gene bearers to check it for him, but he wanted to be the one to turn it on. It wasn't so much to ask, was it? Not after letting Carson puncture his skin with that gigantic needle.

In fact, Rodney had half a mind - half a brilliant mind, thank you - to report Carson to...to...well, to Elizabeth. He was sure needles that big weren't allowed. Carson had obviously been saving it up for the next time he got Rodney in the Infirmary. And where had Carson got his degree anyway? His bedside manner su -

"Aha!" Rodney leapt to his feet as the device lit up in his hand. "It works! It works!"

Radek was by his side almost instantly, the other scientists crowding around. "Interesting. You have a...nightlight?" Radek looked at him with that gleam in his eye. "You are afraid of the dark, perhaps?"

Rodney scowled. "It's not a nightlight. And look - it lit up for me! I had the gene therapy and it worked."

Kavanagh sniffed loudly. "It's probably temporary, you know."

"Get back to work!" Rodney snapped. As they all turned away, he grabbed Radek's arm. "Not you! You can help me figure this thing out."

"Very well," Radek sighed. "Is good I do not have anything else to do, yes?"

"Oh, please! Like you'd miss this for anything!"

A fluid shrug of the shoulders told Rodney he was right but Radek wasn't admitting to it. Instead, he bent over Rodney's hand. "Do you feel anything?"

"No." Rodney gazed at the back of Radek's head. "I can't see anything either."

Radek straightened up and looked at him. "It has no buttons to press, is probably controlled by the brain."

"I'd worked that much out for myself!" Rodney snapped.

"So think. Make it work."

Rodney stared at the device. Could it be that simple? He concentrated, then staggered back as the device flew from his hand and attached itself to his shirt front. Realising that it didn't seem to be trying to melt its way into his chest in order to rip out his heart, he stood up straight, opened his mouth to deny that unmanly shriek, then stopped and said, "I didn't feel anything."

Radek's eyes narrowed. "Feel what?"

"When I fell against the worktop - it didn't hurt."

"Interesting." Radek's hand shot out and he poked Rodney in the arm - or tried to.

"I didn't feel that either!"

Radek moved in closer, his gaze fixed on Rodney's arm. "Is a shield. A force field."

Rodney grinned. "A personal shield. Hit me."

One eyebrow rose, but Radek complied, one hand attempting to slap Rodney.

"You hit like a girl."

"You want I should break my hand on your face?"

"You wouldn't break your hand on my face; you'd break it on my personal shield." Rodney bounced on his toes. "I've gotta try this out!" He handed one of the metal cups to Radek. "Throw it at me."

Radek gestured to one end of the room. "Over there, please."

Seconds later, the cup bounced off Rodney and clattered across the floor.

Rodney grinned again, thrilled with his discovery. "Missed!"

"I did not miss; it rebounded," Radek corrected him.

"Doesn't matter. Didn't get me." Rodney looked around, considering and then discarding the possible weapons. "Do you think Major Sheppard would like to shoot me?"

Radek looked thoughtful. "Is possible. You do have that effect on people."

"Very funny. For that, you get to stay here while I let him shoot me." Rodney threw Radek a scornful gaze then stalked into the wall. "Aha, didn't hurt!" He managed to get the door that time and raced off to find Sheppard.

~'~

A little investigation (as in, he radioed Sheppard and asked him where the hell he was), and Rodney found him in the Armoury with Sergeant Bates.

"McKay." Sheppard glanced at him, then frowned. "You have something on your shirt."

"Yeah, do you have a minute?" Rodney couldn't wait to see Sheppard's face.

"Sure. Okay, Sergeant."

"Major. Doctor McKay."

The door slid shut and Rodney bounced on his toes again. "It's a personal shield!"

Sheppard frowned again, his gaze leaving the clipboard. "That is?" He looked distinctly sceptical.

"Uh huh. Wanna shoot me?"

The look turned confused. "You often ask people to shoot you?"

Rodney grinned. "Only when I've got a personal shield to protect me!"

Sheppard's fingers tapped a brief tattoo on the edge of the clipboard.

"C'mon!"

He shrugged. "Okay, then. Let's go to the target practise."

Walking alongside him, Rodney could see the doubtful looks Sheppard kept throwing him. Finally, he said, "You can poke me if you want."

Sheppard stopped. "Is this instead of shooting you?"

"No, it's to reassure you. Go ahead, poke me. Or hit me."

"Okaaay."

Rodney grinned as Sheppard's casual backhanded slap missed his shoulder. "See?"

"Huh!" Sheppard picked up the pace. "Let's go."

Once there, Rodney waited impatiently while Sheppard fetched a gun and loaded it.

"I'll shoot you in the leg."

"Whatever." Rodney shrugged. "You're not gonna get me anyway."

"Yeah, but it'll be easier to explain to Elizabeth."

"You think she'll mind?"

"That her ranking military officer shot her chief science officer?" Sheppard shrugged. "It depends on where she was stationed before." He squinted along the edge of the gun. "Stand still. I don't want to hit anything vital."

"Unlike you, I don't keep my liver in my leg," Rodney retorted. "Get a move on!"

"Okay, okay." His gaze narrowed, then the bullet ricocheted off Rodney's leg, the shield humming a little.

"See? Told you!"

Sheppard grinned at him, glee in his eyes. "What else you wanna do?"

"Well, you know the balcony in the gateroom...?"

The end.
15th April 2009

~~~

That's all, folks! I hope you liked it. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know!

Comments

[roslynsmuse.livejournal.com]

That's hysterical. Loved the lines about the nightlight and, of course, this:

"Do you think Major Sheppard would like to shoot me?"

Radek looked thoughtful. "Is possible. You do have that effect on people."

I'm not that fond of SGA in general but it was made for humor!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Roslyn. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

I love the humour in SGA. :oD

Thanks for commenting!

[mymanifesto.livejournal.com]

Ah....boys. They do like their fun. LOL!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

I love that part of the ep (obviously - hence the missing scene). Rodney's just so thrilled with his invulnerability!

Thanks, Kathy. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic.

[michelel72.livejournal.com]

"It depends on where she was stationed before." Hee! Much fun.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

:oD Thanks for commenting! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :oD

[leesa_perrie]

"Do you think Major Sheppard would like to shoot me?"

Radek looked thoughtful. "Is possible. You do have that effect on people."

ROTFL!!! Oooh, Zelenka!! Love you!! *bg*

Excellent fic - you really convey Rodney's impatience and then his excitement very well!! I also love Sheppard's response to the request!! I've recced it over on stargategenrec.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks, Leesa! I'm so glad you liked it enough to rec it! ::hugs::

[listy01.livejournal.com]

Wonderful :) Made me giggle, especially the comment from Radek about possibility of Sheppard shooting Rodney. Nicely done, thanks for sharing!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really am glad you enjoyed it that much. :oD

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

I do love all the banter that goes on in the show. I'm so glad the story worked for you.

Thanks for commenting! :oD

[writerjc.livejournal.com]

This is terrific! Loved the banter between Rodney and everyone. :)

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

I think that's one of the best parts of Rodney's character (best as in fun). :oD

I'm really glad you enjoyed the story so much. Thanks for commenting!

[valleya.livejournal.com]

Ahhhhh!!! That was so danged cute!!!!!! I loved it! It was perfect Rodney/Radek/Sheppard interactions! It was so cute, I want more! LOL! Thanks for sharing!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I'm glad the story worked so well for you. I love the banter in the show too.

Thanks for reading and commenting! :oD

[flingslass.livejournal.com]

Exactly how I could imagine this going :D Well done!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm really glad you thought it worked so well.

Thanks for commenting. :oD

[patk.livejournal.com]

>>"You think she'll mind?"

"That her ranking military officer shot her chief science officer?" Sheppard shrugged. "It depends on where she was stationed before." <<<

*Bwhahahaha* Hilarious! *g* It's so nice to read a scene from the early seasons again. :-) This? Could be actual scenes that landed on the floor of the cutting room. *g* You have the banter and the dead-panning (that's a word? Hey, now it is. *g*) down pat.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Pat! I'm really glad you thought it fitted in that well. I love the part of Hide and Seek where Elizabeth's totally horrified that Sheppard just threw Rodney off the balcony, and Rodney's all, "Invulnerable!" and doesn't care. So funny.

Thanks for commenting!

[trishkafibble.livejournal.com]

Hee!! I love this little fic--your character voices are superbly done, especially Radek. I can totally see the scowls, smirks, and mischievous grins that accompany your dialog. Adorable! Thanks for sharing. ^^

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I really do love that part of Hide and Seek - Rodney's just so thrilled at his invulnerable status, and John's explanation of where he shot Rodney (like that makes it okay) makes me laugh every time. I'm glad the missing scene worked so well for you.

Thanks for leaving feedback! :oD