Ghosts fic - Break or no break? (gen)
Jun. 18th, 2021 04:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dimity_blueTitle: Break or no break?
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: Gen
Genre: Gen, background het
Characters: All of them
Word Count: 848 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: The ghosts absolutely love Friends...
But were Ross and Rachel on a break? Could it be any more important?
On AO3.
Break or no break?
by Dimity Blue
"Friends!" Robin declared.
Well, Alison wouldn't have gone quite that far. It wasn't that she disliked the ghosts as such, just that she'd like them better if they didn't create so much mayhem in her life.
"Friends!" Robin insisted.
"Sorry, Alison," Pat said as he walked through the wall into the kitchen. "Can you put the next disc in?"
"Oh, Friends!" Alison headed off to where the ghosts were all waiting. Of course Robin wasn't trying to say he was friends with Alison. No, she was just there to change the DVD.
"I'm not sure I approve of these young women," Fanny said, though Alison noticed she was making no attempt to stop watching. "That Rachel in particular. First she runs out on her own wedding and now she's sabotaging Ross's relationship with Julie, who - I have to say - is far more suitable for him."
Robin nodded. "Ross paleontologist, Julie paleontologist. Rachel waitress. No good!"
Alison stared at him before going back to the kitchen. If Robin had been one of Ross's friends, he wouldn't have had to make that list. It was also completely weird to think of a caveman having an opinion on a paleontologist's relationships.
"Are you okay?"
Alison nodded and gave Mike a kiss. "They're watching Friends again."
"Ah. Were they on a break?"
"What?" Enlightenment dawned and Alison cringed. "Oh, no. They're going to go mental!"
~'~
They certainly did.
"Ross stupid!" Robin shouted, waving a large, grimy fist at the TV. "Rachel your lobster!"
Pat looked rather disappointed. "I must say, I expected better of him."
Julian, on the other hand, looked satisfied. "It's about time Ross started living a little. All that mooning about over Rachel. It's not natural. Men are sexual beings. I remember when I was in the Cayman Islands -"
"Not in front of the ladies, Julian," the Captain interrupted. "Could it be any more inappropriate?"
"I'm just saying -"
"He was just so sad about Rachel wanting a break." Kitty looked around, before turning to Alison. "He was, wasn't he? I know I was sad when my sister made Lord Vidal like her better, though he'd only danced with me once."
"It's disgraceful, Kitty! You shouldn't make excuses for him!" That, of course, was Fanny. "Though Rachel brought it on herself by treating him so poorly."
"If you ask me," Thomas put in, "it's Mark's fault. He sabotaged the Lady Rachel's romance on purpose!"
"Not Mark! Ross stupid!"
"Don't put your finger in my face, please, Robin. It's not polite. If Mark hadn't asked about the wine, Ross wouldn't have known he was there."
"I thinks Rachel is to blame." Mary nodded. "She tells Ross she loves him no more. I expect he dies of a broken heart soon."
"Ross stupid!"
"And that was the first time I slept with twin sisters."
Alison left them to it.
~'~
"Ah, Alison. We need you to settle a dispute for us." The Captain was the first to reach her as she got out of the car.
"What is it now?" Alison sighed to herself. They'd only just got home from work.
"What? What's wrong? Oh, ghosts again?" Mike abandoned her and went running off into the house. Alison hoped he'd put the kettle on.
"It's Ross and Rachel!" Pat said.
Robin nodded. "Break or no break?"
Alison stared around at them all. "I thought you'd all agreed to let it go?"
"Well, yes, but some of us raised the issue after the beach house episodes." The Captain's sideways glance at Julian betrayed who.
"All I said was that Ross should sleep with Rachel but keep on seeing the bald girl. Hedge his bets, you know."
"But that would mean he is a cheater!" Kitty was near to tears.
"It's all right, Kitty, Ross wouldn't do that," Alison reassured her.
"Aha! So you think they were on a break!" the Captain said.
"I didn't say that."
"Break or no break?!" Robin demanded.
"It's a complicated question!" The ghosts all stared at her and Alison felt sweat break out on her forehead. She knew what mayhem they could cause and she didn't want to set any of them off - again - but she couldn't agree with all of them. Finally, she sighed. "I...agree with Thomas; I blame Mark."
"Yes!" Thomas practically danced on the spot.
Alison gave him a look. "I think Mark deliberately talked so Ross would know he was there. Ross was hurt and sought comfort with Chloe because he thought Rachel had already moved on to Mark. It was history repeating itself because Carol left him for someone else, so Rachel had too, even though she hadn't really."
The ghosts stared at her some more, then Julian said, "She'd make a good politician, wouldn't she? Well done, Alison! You chose an answer that satisfies nobody but doesn't offend anyone either."
"Julian!"
"It satisfies me!" Thomas protested.
Julian gave him a shrug. "Eh, you don't count."
Alison sighed as she went into the house. Only six more seasons to go. She couldn't wait until they saw the Vegas episodes.
The end.
18th June 2021
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: Gen
Genre: Gen, background het
Characters: All of them
Word Count: 848 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: The ghosts absolutely love Friends...
But were Ross and Rachel on a break? Could it be any more important?
On AO3.
Break or no break?
by Dimity Blue
"Friends!" Robin declared.
Well, Alison wouldn't have gone quite that far. It wasn't that she disliked the ghosts as such, just that she'd like them better if they didn't create so much mayhem in her life.
"Friends!" Robin insisted.
"Sorry, Alison," Pat said as he walked through the wall into the kitchen. "Can you put the next disc in?"
"Oh, Friends!" Alison headed off to where the ghosts were all waiting. Of course Robin wasn't trying to say he was friends with Alison. No, she was just there to change the DVD.
"I'm not sure I approve of these young women," Fanny said, though Alison noticed she was making no attempt to stop watching. "That Rachel in particular. First she runs out on her own wedding and now she's sabotaging Ross's relationship with Julie, who - I have to say - is far more suitable for him."
Robin nodded. "Ross paleontologist, Julie paleontologist. Rachel waitress. No good!"
Alison stared at him before going back to the kitchen. If Robin had been one of Ross's friends, he wouldn't have had to make that list. It was also completely weird to think of a caveman having an opinion on a paleontologist's relationships.
"Are you okay?"
Alison nodded and gave Mike a kiss. "They're watching Friends again."
"Ah. Were they on a break?"
"What?" Enlightenment dawned and Alison cringed. "Oh, no. They're going to go mental!"
~'~
They certainly did.
"Ross stupid!" Robin shouted, waving a large, grimy fist at the TV. "Rachel your lobster!"
Pat looked rather disappointed. "I must say, I expected better of him."
Julian, on the other hand, looked satisfied. "It's about time Ross started living a little. All that mooning about over Rachel. It's not natural. Men are sexual beings. I remember when I was in the Cayman Islands -"
"Not in front of the ladies, Julian," the Captain interrupted. "Could it be any more inappropriate?"
"I'm just saying -"
"He was just so sad about Rachel wanting a break." Kitty looked around, before turning to Alison. "He was, wasn't he? I know I was sad when my sister made Lord Vidal like her better, though he'd only danced with me once."
"It's disgraceful, Kitty! You shouldn't make excuses for him!" That, of course, was Fanny. "Though Rachel brought it on herself by treating him so poorly."
"If you ask me," Thomas put in, "it's Mark's fault. He sabotaged the Lady Rachel's romance on purpose!"
"Not Mark! Ross stupid!"
"Don't put your finger in my face, please, Robin. It's not polite. If Mark hadn't asked about the wine, Ross wouldn't have known he was there."
"I thinks Rachel is to blame." Mary nodded. "She tells Ross she loves him no more. I expect he dies of a broken heart soon."
"Ross stupid!"
"And that was the first time I slept with twin sisters."
Alison left them to it.
~'~
"Ah, Alison. We need you to settle a dispute for us." The Captain was the first to reach her as she got out of the car.
"What is it now?" Alison sighed to herself. They'd only just got home from work.
"What? What's wrong? Oh, ghosts again?" Mike abandoned her and went running off into the house. Alison hoped he'd put the kettle on.
"It's Ross and Rachel!" Pat said.
Robin nodded. "Break or no break?"
Alison stared around at them all. "I thought you'd all agreed to let it go?"
"Well, yes, but some of us raised the issue after the beach house episodes." The Captain's sideways glance at Julian betrayed who.
"All I said was that Ross should sleep with Rachel but keep on seeing the bald girl. Hedge his bets, you know."
"But that would mean he is a cheater!" Kitty was near to tears.
"It's all right, Kitty, Ross wouldn't do that," Alison reassured her.
"Aha! So you think they were on a break!" the Captain said.
"I didn't say that."
"Break or no break?!" Robin demanded.
"It's a complicated question!" The ghosts all stared at her and Alison felt sweat break out on her forehead. She knew what mayhem they could cause and she didn't want to set any of them off - again - but she couldn't agree with all of them. Finally, she sighed. "I...agree with Thomas; I blame Mark."
"Yes!" Thomas practically danced on the spot.
Alison gave him a look. "I think Mark deliberately talked so Ross would know he was there. Ross was hurt and sought comfort with Chloe because he thought Rachel had already moved on to Mark. It was history repeating itself because Carol left him for someone else, so Rachel had too, even though she hadn't really."
The ghosts stared at her some more, then Julian said, "She'd make a good politician, wouldn't she? Well done, Alison! You chose an answer that satisfies nobody but doesn't offend anyone either."
"Julian!"
"It satisfies me!" Thomas protested.
Julian gave him a shrug. "Eh, you don't count."
Alison sighed as she went into the house. Only six more seasons to go. She couldn't wait until they saw the Vegas episodes.
The end.
18th June 2021