The Govt and dead horses

[dimity_blue]

You know the saying "beating a dead horse"? Well, this is how bureaucrats deal with them.



The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

In Local government however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies is often employed, such as:

1. Change riders.

2. Buy a stronger whip.

3. Do nothing: "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses".

4. Visit other countries to see how they ride dead horses.

5. Perform a productivity study to see if lighter riders improve the dead horse's performance.

6. Hire a contractor to ride the dead horse.

7. Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase the speed.

8. Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.

9. Appoint a committee to study the horse and assess how dead it actually is.

10. Re-classify the dead horse as "living-impaired".

11. Develop a Strategic Plan for the management of dead horses.

12. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.

13. Modify existing standards to include dead horses.

14. Declare that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line than many other horses.

15. Promote the dead horse.

Comments

[bumpkin-is.livejournal.com]

You gotta love bureaucracy - what kings invented to have a place to put their worthless relatives... :P

Very funny stuff,
Marns
~pN

[andrea-2006.livejournal.com]

and if all above fails:

Find the person responsible for it all (as long as it isn't yours truly) and promote her/him so s/he may wreck havoc on another department.

;-)

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

what kings invented to have a place to put their worthless relatives.

I've never heard that explanation before, but it's perfect! :oD

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, that part's definitely true!

[leesa_perrie]

LOL!! Very true!!

[roslynsmuse.livejournal.com]

Notice that the Dakotas, who had the correct solution to the problem, were relegated to a reservation so that the other solutions could be freely employed here in the Americas.

And don't forget rule number 16:

Have the dead horse run for public office. Name recognition, achieved during its lifetime or by association with a famous sire, will likely carry it through.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

10. Re-classify the dead horse as "living-impaired".

::falling about giggling here::

They're all too horribly true *g*

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought! Makes me wonder if bureaucrats ever read this stuff and think, "Hey, hang on a minute!"

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a familiar tactic. :oD

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Yep, and to make it worse, you know that bureaucrats will have spent millions (if not billions) on coming up with these ideas and implementing them.

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

Love that bad-luck icon.
Laurie

[starwatcher]

.
I can't laugh because it hurts too much. Over here, Bush and the Religious Reich push "abstinence only" sex 'education'. The students in these programs get NO information about preventing pregnancy or sexual diseases, No information about what they'll feel and how to avoid acting on it; all they get is "Don't do it."

Studies have shown that abstinence only DOESN'T WORK. Greater percentages of those young people have unplanned pregnancies and/or contract STDs. So, the latest spending bill from Congress and Bush authorizes MORE money dedicated to abstinence only education. *weeps*
.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

That's totally stupid. Far better to give the kids the knowledge they need to deal with it, than stick their heads in the sand and try to pretend kids don't have urges.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Laurie. It's not mine though, it's by migratory. :oD

[roslynsmuse.livejournal.com]

Even worse than the abstinence only ed push, is the fact that the government ceased providing support for women's health centers around the world if there was any mention of 'abortion' in their counseling policies. Women, who aren't even seeking abortions but only health care, are dying because of a right wing platform against a LEXICON that includes the full range of reproductive choices that medical professionals are bound to present.

Can someone tell me how that kind of Christian fundamentalism differs from Islamic extremism? I can't see any difference if both practices leave a woman to go without health care because women must be forbidden to hear about their own options in medical care.