Short fix it scene - Jim's Choice

[dimity_blue]

A few of you may remember that I wrote a very short death fic ages ago. I was chatting online with kungfunurse when the subject of said death fic came up.

KFN complained that I should not have killed Jim off. So, in an effort to appease her (hey, she knows Kung Fu - I was scared!), I 'fixed' the fic.

Under the cut are the so-called death fic, and the fix it, complete with bonding.



Shortest Ever Bonding Fic
by Arnie

Jim smiled, inhaling the sweet scent that told him that this was his Guide. "Guide!" he growled, making sure to sound impressive.

"Get lost, man! I've got a life to lead!" the Guide retorted, stalking off towards the line of people who were waiting to board the plane to Peru.

Devastated, Jim watched as the plane took off. There went his Guide.

A week later, he zoned on a red balloon and died when he was creamed by a truck.

~~~

Forgetting all about the very strange Sentinel, Blair Sandburg travelled to Peru, where he studied the Chopec until he was kidnapped by a rival band of Peruvians and never heard from again.

THE END

~~~~~~~~

Conversation with KFN that led to the fic:

Kungfunurse: you've never killed him yet (that I know of)
Sarah: in the shortest bonding fic I did
KFN: I don't wanna read that fic again
KFN: it hurt my heart.
Sarah: um
Sarah: it was satire
KFN: still
Sarah: Jim didn't really die
Sarah: he faked his death
KFN: it was an actor
Sarah: then went off to Peru and kidnapped Blair
KFN: you could tell by the toothpaste smile
Sarah: dragged him off from the Chopec
KFN: <------- is squinting at Sarah

~~~~~~~~

Jim's Choice:
Death by Truck or Bonding With Blair
by Arnie

"Hey, aren't you dead?" Blair asked, confused.

Jim smiled, in a disturbingly predatory manner. "Nope. C'mon." His hand grabbed the front of Blair's shirt firmly and dragged him to his feet.

"Hey! Get off!" Trying to push Jim back, Blair shouted for help, then yelped as he was yanked forward and tossed over the Sentinel's shoulder. As he was carried off, Blair said, "Man, this is so undignified!"

Trying his best to save himself, Blair wriggled and twisted, grabbing at the vines they passed, but it seemed like nothing would stop the Sentinel.

Finally, Jim paused, then began to climb.

Blair shut his eyes and clung to Jim's back, then opened one eye.

"Hey!" His other eye opened as he peered at what Jim was climbing. "It's a ladder!"

The rungs were tied in place with vines, but it was a ladder. A long ladder.

Blair shut his eyes again. "I feel sick."

"You barf down my back and you'll regret it, Chief."

Blair shut his mouth tightly. As Jim was all that was standing between him and gravity, he wasn't about to argue. Yet.

Finally, Jim put him down, and Blair opened his eyes, his head spinning from being upside down so long.

"Ugh..."

"No barfing. I just got the rug cleaned."

Blair looked around. "You have a rug?" And a TV, VCR, comfortable looking couch....

"The TV and VCR don't work. I'm still working on that one."

"You just got them for the look, right?"

"Yep."

Blair yelped again as Jim grabbed the front of his shirt again. "Man, what is it with you and this shirt?"

Blair tried to bat his hands away, but instead found himself being dragged through the living room and into a bedroom.

"An Ikea bed? How the hell did you get -" His words were lost as he was tossed onto the bed. He bounced, then scrambled for the edge, and yelped again as he was hauled back into the centre.

Staring up in horror at the Sentinel leaning over him, Blair got distracted. "You do NOT have mirrors on your ceiling!"

Jim growled and lunged down, leading to yet another squawk of outrage from Blair.

He felt a deep bite to his neck, and relaxed suddenly as a zillion endorphins raced through his system, persuading him that decor-challenged Sentinels really aren't that bad.

Just before his fuzzy mind gave up the ghost and sank into the darkness, he decided he'd take Jim shopping in Macy's. If there was an Ikea nearby, there had to be a Macy's. Either way, the mirrored ceiling tiles had to go.

The End

~~~

Hope you liked it. Such as it was. :oD

Comments

[bumpkin-is.livejournal.com]

<== *squints at Arnie*

Umm, I don't know what to say... :D

Very funny little bits, thanks for sharing.

Marns
~pN

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :oD

Btw, I still have to catch up on your Hidden Whammy story. I saw that you've started on the sequel! I'm looking forward to catching up.

[bumpkin-is.livejournal.com]

Btw, I still have to catch up on your Hidden Whammy story. I saw that you've started on the sequel! I'm looking forward to catching up.

I hope you enjoy. :)

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I will. Well, unless you go and kill them off or something. :oD

[bumpkin-is.livejournal.com]

unless you go and kill them off or something.

Ummm... nope! *g*

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

Laurie

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Laurie. I'm glad you liked it. :oD

[vamysteryfan.livejournal.com]

I want some of what you were on when you wrote that!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Nothing, unfortunately! I guess late nights affect me that way. :oD

Glad you liked it though!

[admiralandrea.livejournal.com]

:collapses in hysterical laughter:

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Oops! ::puts pillow under Andi's head:: Glad you liked it. :oD

[izzie7.livejournal.com]

Hah! Much better than deathfic - it's Ikea!fic *g*

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

\o/ I've started a whole new trend! Of course, there probably *are* people out there writing about furniture already.

Glad you liked it, Izzie. :oD

[leesa_perrie]

ROTFL!!! Oh boy, that's one of the best Sentinel parodies/crackfics I've ever read - and a nice way to end the deathfic!

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Leesa. I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much. :oD

[kaleecat]

:: giggling madly :: It was the Ikea thing that did me in, followed by the mirrors. pray god there's a macy's. ::giggles more::

What's this "hidden whammy" story someone mentioned in comments?

Hmmm, its been awhile since I re-read my fave story, Neds & David, maybe I'll treat myself before I pack the compy up for my move.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :oD

The Hidden Whammy is a story by bumpkin_is that's been posted on her LJ as a WIP. She's finished the first story, and is now on the 2nd. It's very AU, and very good. I just need to find the time to go back to her LJ and save all the parts.

Good luck with your move! Have fun re-reading David and Neds first. I love those two characters. :oD

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

::giggles::

::snorts::

::giggles some more::

What are you taking woman? *hg*

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Nothing, that's the scary thing!

Glad you liked it though. Thanks, Snails. :oD