Stargate fanfic
May. 2nd, 2005 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dimity_blueA long time ago in a galaxy far, far...hang on...wrong fandom.
Ages ago, I planned to put all my fanfic on my LJ, and I um...forgot. Anyway, here's one of my Stargate fanfics.
RATING: 13s and over
SUMMARY: Decaf vs. regular - let the battle begin.
SPOILERS: Very, very slight ones for "Stargate" (the movie), "Singularity", "There But For The Grace of God", "The Serpent's Lair", "Crystal Skull" and "Fair Trade".
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, alas. Mary Lou and the story itself are mine though.
Coffee Breaks
by Arnie
Colonel Jack O'Neill, (that handsome, dashing, US Airforce officer) sighed to himself as he walked down the corridor. He didn't need to ask Janet to know that Sam was going to be stuck in the Infirmary for quite a while to come.
He knew that the last mission had been rough, especially as Carter had ended up with a broken leg, broken collarbone, two black eyes ('Great impersonation of a panda there, Carter!'), a sprained wrist and a wrenched ankle... but how on earth she'd managed to become infected with the measles, the flu, shingles and bronchitis was beyond him.
He shook his head. After all the time he'd spent getting her housetrained (in a manner of speaking) and now he was going to be stuck with another scientist/officer for at least two months. 'Wonder if Maybourne had a hand in this?'
~*~
"Colonel, this is Major Connor." Hammond sat back in his chair and watched. He couldn't wait to see what O'Neill made of this one.
Jack's jaw almost dropped. The officer in question was beautiful... even that word didn't do her justice... she was stunning! Her Airforce uniform accentuated her figure in a way that Jack didn't even know was possible. He managed to keep his mouth shut (doing an impersonation of a goldfish in Hammond's office wasn't on his to do list), and shook Connor's hand with a modicum of composure.
"Sir!" Connor said, smiling. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard all about you and SG-1."
Her charming, winsome, lovely smile lit up the drab office and made Jack blink.
"Uh..." He managed to recover his wits slightly (well, the two he had left). "Nothing good, I'll bet," he said, grinning.
"On the contrary, Colonel. The reports I read were most complimentary."
"Oh." Jack felt a bit non-plussed. He had just made a joke then, hadn't he? "Well, let me show you around."
"Thank you, sir. General." Major Mary Lou Connor snapped a salute to Hammond and then followed Jack from the office.
"Ah, just the person! Daniel," Jack called having spotted the archaeologist making his way to the messhall for yet another infusion of caffeine.
"Jack?" Daniel hesitated. He hadn't had a cup of coffee in at least twenty minutes and the withdrawal symptoms were starting to show. He hopped from one foot to the other, politeness saying that he wait for Jack, while his need for caffeine insisted that he head for the messhall and stick his head in the urn as quickly as possible.
"Wait up! We'll grab some coffee and then give Major Connor the grand tour."
Daniel relaxed slightly. Okay, they were going for coffee. He could wait. He glanced at his watch. Had Jack always walked this slowly?
"Connor, this is Daniel Jackson. Daniel, this is Major Connor. She's taking Carter's place while she's stuck in the Infirmary."
"Oh, ah... hi." Daniel's need for coffee was increasing every second. His supreme caffeine addiction took second place then as the incredibly gorgeous woman walking towards him greeted him fluently in Goa'uld. "Huh?"
Jack sighed. For a guy with 23 languages at his disposal, sometimes Daniel could be remarkably short on words.
Daniel gaped at the woman for a second, then slowly responded. His face relaxed as she explained (reverting back to Jack's one and only language, thankfully) that she had a PhD in languages herself and had made a point of learning to speak Goa'uld once she'd heard she was being transferred to the SGC.
"You've got a PhD in languages," Jack echoed. "And er... how many languages do you speak?"
"Twenty seven," Connor replied matter of factly. "I've always had a thing for languages."
"Me too," said Daniel.
"Yes, Doctor Jackson, I know. I've read your file." Mary Lou smiled at the good looking archaeologist walking by her side.
"Oh, uh... yeah." Daniel frowned slightly. Had everyone read his file?
Just then they reached the messhall. Daniel headed straight for the coffee urn and lost no time in ordering his super-duper-extra-large-incredibly-strong coffee (with extra caffeine for that added kick). As an afterthought, he also grabbed some cookies. Jack frowned. Was it his imagination or was Daniel's coffee addiction getting out of hand? Of course, the thought had crossed his mind when he'd caught Daniel trying to smuggle a large coffee pot and 20 pounds of extra strong coffee beans through the wormhole on their last mission, but he'd put that down to Daniel being Daniel. Although, now he came to think of it, the last time they were under attack by the Goa'uld, Daniel had gone back to save his coffee pot from being captured and reported MIA. Jack shook his head. 'Nah, just imagining things.'
Major Connor ordered a herbal tea and turned to regard Daniel as he slipped cookie after cookie into various pockets. Her eyebrows rose when she saw the size of the coffee cup he was handed, and her eyes bulged slightly as he briskly stirred the coffee and threw away the partially dissolved spoon.
"You know, caffeine isn't good for you," she remarked, gazing into her own cup where the murky liquid of herbal tea awaited her.
Daniel paused, his whole body betraying his urge to defend his beloved caffeine.
Jack intervened quickly. "Ahh, we wouldn't know Daniel without his coffee fix." He grabbed his own standard size of non-plastic-spoon-dissolving-coffee and headed for the door. "C'mon, Major. We've got lots to see. Danny-boy, you coming?"
"Er... I've got some stuff to do. I'll catch up with you later." Danny hadn't actually planned to go back to his office but he didn't think he'd be able to enjoy his coffee with Major Tight-ass... 'I have been hanging around with Jack too long'... with Major Connor disapproving of every sip.
Jack grinned at him. "Have fun!"
~*~
"Well, Major, this is the 'gate room..." Jack indicated the vast Stargate which dominated the room, "and this..."
"Is the Stargate itself," Connor interrupted him. She'd been mostly silent all the way around the SGC, (like any good showman, Jack had kept the best until last). Now her silence was broken, as she moved forward to touch the huge ring which had dominated her ambitions for so long.
Jack listened to her murmuring, but once he realised that she was raving on about the 'gate, its structure, its abilities etc, he sort of switched off. Vaguely, he thought that she sounded a lot like Sam... except that Sam managed to be a lot more interesting. He watched a fly as it buzzed around, the noise of its wings mingling with the woman's voice until he wasn't quite sure which sound he was actually hearing.
Major Connor realised that Jack had ceased to listen to her, in fact, he seemed to be rather absorbed in the bluebottle which was flitting from place to place. 'Maybe he has an interest in insects.'
She went to stand next to him and cleared her throat. "So, Colonel..."
"Huh?" O'Neill's attention snapped back to the gorgeous beauty at his side. "Oh, sorry, Major. Thinking."
Mary Lou smiled slightly. She wasn't used to losing men's attention and for a second it annoyed her. She shrugged off the feeling and got back to the matter in hand. "Colonel, you've known Dr. Jackson for quite a while."
"Oh yeah, ever since that first mission to Abydos," Jack said absently, allowing his attention to wander again.
"Has he always been so addicted to caffeine?"
"Huh?" Now she had his attention in full. "Addicted? I'd hardly use that word to describe it. Mesmerised, maybe... fascinated..."
"Hmm." Mary Lou cocked her head slightly. "It's often a fact that friends find it hard to acknowledge when someone is addicted."
"Excuse me?" Jack didn't care how beautiful or totally over-qualified this woman was, he was going to put her straight on something. "Dr. Daniel Jackson drinks coffee... he doesn't take pot or heroin - hell, he doesn't even smoke!"
"Well, sir, caffeine is an addiction, even if it is a socially acceptable one."
Jack looked at her with disbelief. She was calling Danny an addict?
The technicians were watching with avid interest. They'd all noticed Major Connor come into the 'gate room, (most of them had been watching her ever since), but this promised to be even more interesting; several of them having experienced Jack's protective streak where Daniel was concerned.
"In fact, sir, maybe it would be helpful if you encouraged him to switch to herbal teas. The nutrients contained with herbal teas can be very beneficial. I've heard that Dr. Jackson is rather prone to being... shall we say... accident prone?" she said, patronisingly. "And he might find that herbal teas could help him."
Jack gazed at the pompous woman with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. "I doubt if it would help him withstand a blast from a staff weapon though. Or being zapped into invisibility by a crystal skull."
She made a noise that he assumed was her version of laughter. "Of course not, sir, but it might help him avoid such things."
Jack sighed. Why him? He decided to point out a few things, as calmly as he could. "I doubt it. The first time he got hit by a staff weapon he was saving my life, the second time he was in an alternate reality and the third time he was on a Goa'uld mothership. As for the crystal skull incident, well, Daniel likes to examine things. Now look, Major, I don't care that you've chosen to see caffeine as a vice, but you will keep your personal opinions to yourself, especially around Dr. Jackson. Is that understood?"
"Well, sir, I was just..."
"No, you were not." Jack was getting more annoyed by the second.
Major Connor smiled slightly, moistened her lips and tried again. "All I was saying...."
"Well, don't." Jack cut her off.
"Very well, sir." Connor remained silent hoping that she'd managed to make the colonel think about his pet archaeologist and his caffeine addiction.
~*~
After leaving Connor, Jack headed over to see Daniel. He was pleased to see that the bucket sized coffee cup was still full... until he noticed the steam rising from it.
"Get yourself more coffee?" he asked casually.
Daniel took a huge gulp of the said coffee before answering. "Yeah." He glanced briefly at Jack before continuing to scribble down his translation of the ever so fascinating (and slightly weird) artifact SG-7 had brought back from PX9-521.
"Hmm." Jack wandered around the room. Had Danny's coffee intake got out of hand? Casually, he glanced in the waste bin. It was full of crushed bucket sized styrofoam cups and candy wrappers.
Daniel noticed Jack's glance and followed it down to the bin. "What?" he demanded.
"Nothin'." Jack scrunched up his face slightly and gazed around the room. "You er...you do eat sometimes, don't you, Daniel?" he asked, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah, course I do." Daniel took another gulp of the coffee, his hand grabbing another cookie on its way back from the cup.
Jack grabbed his wrist before the cookie reached his mouth. "It's almost lunchtime, you'll spoil your meal." 'Oh my God, I've turned into my mother!'
Daniel looked up at Jack in confusion. "What's up with you?" He twisted his arm to try to free it, but didn't get it back until Jack had taken the cookie from him.
"Nothin', I just... Let's go eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You were eating cookies."
"Well, I'm not that hungry," Daniel explained.
"You will be by the time we get there," Jack countered, grabbing Daniel's arm and hauling him to his feet. "C'mon."
Making a slight detour to pass Teal'c's room, Jack banged on the door. "Teal'c! Come an' eat."
Teal'c appeared in the doorway. "I am not yet hungry, O'Neill," he answered.
"Well, come and sit with us while we eat... an' we'll sit with you while you eat."
Teal'c considered this. "Is there some reason why...."
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Teal'c. Just come sit with us." Jack could tell from the position of Teal'c's eyebrow that he considered this to be an odd request, but he shut his door and accompanied the pair to the messhall without further comment. Jack did have a reason for Teal'c coming along, but he couldn't tell Teal'c that if Daniel decided to leave without having a proper meal, he figured that the Jaffa would come in handy in helping him persuade Danny otherwise. By force if need be.
~*~
Connor smiled as she saw her team mates gathered around a table. Her eagle eyes spotted Daniel's coffee cup. She was surprised to see that he had made a fairly healthy choice for lunch, from the way he'd been squirrelling away those cookies, she'd thought he must live on them. Gracefully, she made her way over to the table, another cup of herbal tea in her hand.
"Colonel."
Jack looked up. "Major, please join us." He waited until she was seated, then continued, "You've met Daniel," 'and his coffee cup', he added mentally, "and this is Teal'c."
Teal'c inclined his head in greeting. Connor smiled charmingly at the large man sitting in front of her, her eyes flicking to Daniel who was hunched in a protective pose over his coffee.
Jack noticed her glance and, excusing himself, he got up and made his way over to the commissary table. A few quiet questions got him the answers he wanted. Yes, Dr. Jackson always had the largest size cup available, and the strongest coffee available, and yes, that was several times a day. Collecting a bottle of mineral water, Jack returned to his team and took his seat. He was not surprised to find the three of them mostly silent. But Teal'c didn't usually have much to say and Daniel was obviously still feeling miffed over the attack on his beloved coffee (Jack briefly wondered what Daniel would have said if he'd heard her later comments) while Connor seemed to be analyzing the pair of them.
Feeling beholden, after all, he was team leader, Jack started the ball rolling. "So, Major, you've got a PhD in languages."
"Yes, sir," Connor smirked slightly. "Also one in atrophysics and archaeology."
"You must have been very busy in university," Daniel commented.
"Well, Dr. Jackson, some of us thrive on hard work." Her eyes flicked from his face to the coffee cup and back again. For a second Jack thought she was going to follow through with another comment about caffeine but she didn't need to: from the look on Daniel's face, he'd got the gist of it.
Teal'c frowned. He could feel the hostility emanating from SG-1's resident archaeologist. It puzzled him. He had always found Daniel Jackson to be a most unagressive man, unless forced to be otherwise. Teal'c glanced around, perhaps Apophis had made his way into the room without being noticed.
"Astrophysics and archaeology," Jack commented, jokingly. "Working your way through the 'A's?"
Connor looked at him blank faced. "Languages begins with an 'L'.
Jack sat back slightly. Okay, it wasn't one of his best, but... Never mind. He shrugged the incident off. "Okay, kids, we've got a briefing at 1400 hours. Don't be late." He rose to his feet, noticing that Daniel was no less eager to escape from the table. It was going to be a long, long time before Carter was back.
~*~
"Doc? How's she doin'?" Jack kept his voice low in case Carter was asleep.
"She'll be fine," Janet responded. "She was in a lot of pain so I gave her something to help her sleep." She turned and looked at Jack who was hovering behind her. "Anything else?"
"Um... yeah." Jack hesitated.
Janet replaced Sam's chart then led the way into her office. "Okay, what's up?"
Jack fidgeted. He hated this, it was just.... If Daniel found out he'd throw a fit. Finally, he decided to just say it and see what happened. "Do you think Daniel's addicted to coffee?"
"Yes."
Jack waited for a few seconds. "Well?" he demanded when it became apparent that Janet wasn't going to say anything more.
"There's nothing I can do about it. I can't pull him off active duty because he drinks a lot of coffee, all I can do is try and persuade him to switch to decaf... and yes, Colonel, I've tried."
Jack ran his hand through his hair. "That's it?"
"I'm afraid so. Unless Dr. Jackson chooses to stop drinking full strength coffee... and eating candy bars... there's nothing we can do about it. The military regulations don't cover this one."
"Okay. Thanks, Doc."
Jack left the Infirmary. 'There must be something...' He wandered around for a while and then found himself outside the messhall doors. Slowly he grinned. There was something he could do. Ten minutes of fast talking later, Jack left with a smile on his face.
~*~
Hammond started the briefing as usual, but it wasn't long before Major Connor took over. As she was as qualified as Sam, and as qualified as Daniel, it meant she was able to bounce ideas off herself without needing to listen to anyone.
Basically, the UAV had picked up signs of habitation but no sign of the Goa'uld. It was to be just another standard first contact mission.
Jack felt almost dizzy by the time he, with the rest of his team, were waiting for the wormhole to engage. Connor talked more than anyone he knew. Glancing at the normally talkative (but now silent) archaeologist by his side, Jack amended that to 'any two people he knew'.
The wormhole opened and Jack led the way through, closely followed by Connor. Daniel hesitated before stepping through the 'gate. He didn't think he'd be able to listen to Connor for much longer. A thought suddenly occurred. 'Do I talk that much?' It would explain why Jack frequently got a glazed look on his face while listening to him expound yet another way out, wacky, totally improbable (and usually true) theory.
Daniel made a mental note to not talk as much.
Teal'c stopped beside Daniel. "Are you well, Daniel Jackson?" he enquired, concerned as to why Daniel seemed to be reluctant to go.
Daniel glanced up, startled. "Hmm? Oh yeah." He stepped into the wormhole and one wild ride later was standing beside Jack gazing out at the view.
"You stop on the way to buy postcards?" Jack asked, still scanning the area for any signs of danger.
"Uh... no." Daniel shrugged at Jack's questioning look. "It's nothing."
"You okay?"
"Uh huh."
Jack accepted Daniel's reassurance without comment, for the moment. "Okay, kids, let's move out."
They headed down the field, heading across to where some buildings could be seen. Jack, being in the lead, was the first to reach the outskirts of the tiny village. He was also the first to be spotted by a small child.
Jack liked kids, he always got on well with them, so he opened his mouth to say hi and was surprised, and startled, when the child leapt to her feet and fled up the village shrieking loudly.
"Friendly kids," he murmured.
"Perhaps they are unused to visitors," Teal'c offered.
"Or perhaps they think we're Goa'uld," Connor suggested, looking pointedly at Teal'c's tattoo.
Teal'c frowned slightly. He did not like this woman. He did not like the effect she had upon his team mates, well, except for Major Carter who was asleep in the Infirmary. His thoughts upon how soon Major Carter could rejoin SG-1 were interrupted by the return of the child, accompanied by the entire village. All of whom were armed with technologically advanced weapons.
"Heads up," murmured Jack. "Daniel...."
Heeding Jack's unspoken command, Daniel stepped forward to attempt to greet these people, but was stopped by Major Connor.
"We come in peace," she announced, in English, then French, then German.
Jack's head snapped around and he stared at her as she proceeded to make the same announcement in various languages. Jack knew that if he didn't stop her, they'd get to hear all twenty seven of the languages at her disposal. And he thought Daniel talked too much? 'I'll never complain again!'
"Major?"
She continued, totally ignoring him.
"Major Connor?"
She gave no sign that she'd heard.
"Can it, Major!" Jack snapped.
She stopped and stared at her commanding officer, outraged.
One of the villages stepped forward and looked at Jack, his eyes lingering on the weapon Jack held. "Thank you," he said quietly, in English.
Jack was puzzled. "For...?"
"For stopping her. Another word, and I would have had to vaporize her," the man declared.
"A custom of yours?" Daniel enquired.
"No. She was driving me nuts."
The major's shocked gasp was clearly heard. Jack grinned widely at the man. Daniel gave a strangled snort and turned away to hide his laughter, his shoulders shaking, while even Teal'c had a smirk on his face.
"I am Norjil," the man announced. "This is my village. You are most welcome." He held out his hand and shook Jack's firmly.
"Colonel Jack O'Neill." Jack turned and indicated the others. "This is Major Mary Lou Connor, Dr. Daniel Jackson and Teal'c."
"Ah." Norjil moved over and stood in front of Teal'c, his eyes fixed on the gold tattoo that gleamed in the sunlight. "You are Jaffa."
"I am."
"You serve Apophis."
"Uh, Teal'c betrayed Apophis to come and fight with us," Jack interrupted.
Norjil grasped Teal'c's arm with one hand. "Then he is welcome here. Come, we will eat."
~*~
Mary Lou sat at the table, her back rigid. Drive him nuts? What kind of a Neanderthal was he? And the colonel, being friendly with such a man!
'No discipline, that's what the problem is.'
There was Daniel, filled to the gills with non-decaffeinated coffee, and Colonel O'Neill was totally unable to see that Daniel had a problem. All he saw was the boy wonder needing caffeine to keep going. And Teal'c. Hmm. Mary Lou had an interest in psychology and she would have dearly loved to have got inside the Jaffa's head. She believed that he had an obsessive desire to keep his team safe, probably due to his guilty conscience. Unfortunately, Teal'c didn't talk enough for her to be able to analyse him properly. She listened as Teal'c talked with Norjil, hoping to pick up some clues to his psyche.
"Your weapons are unlike any I have seen."
'Mmm. Obviously the warrior in him.'
"We developed these some time ago," Norjil replied, handing one to Teal'c.
Teal'c examined it closely. "I do not believe the Goa'uld have such weapons at their disposal."
'Fixated on the Goa'uld. Always thinking about them.'
"I hope not!" Norjil laughed. "They might come up with a way to circumvent them. We managed to defeat the Goa'uld Heru-ur when he came and tried to claim this planet. Unfortunately, the Goa'uld are very persistent."
"I have noticed," Teal'c replied, an odd look on his face.
'Now that's interesting. Obviously thinking about the Goa'ulds' desire to make an example of him as a Shol'va.'
"Yeah, we've noticed them being...persistent ourselves," Jack grinned.
"From what I've heard, O'Neill, the Tau'ri can be just as persistent," Norjil said, wryly.
"Who've you been talkin' to?" Jack demanded, suspiciously.
"Word of the Tau'ri has reached many planets." There was a grin on Norjil's face that said that not all of the reports had been impressive ones. Even Teal'c had a smile in his eyes.
'Feels superior, does he?'
Jack frowned. Okay, so not all their missions had covered them in glory, especially that mission to PXG 296 (that one had covered them in something else). In fact he'd believed that smell would never fade, but most of their... less inspiring missions had been confined to reports (and certainly never mentioned to the Tok'Ra). Briefly, Jack wondered if Sam had told her father about some of those missions but dismissed it. Sam hadn't been smelling of roses a few times herself.
"So, Norjil, any chance us borrowing a few of those weapons to help fight off the Goa'uld?"
"I'm sorry, O'Neill, but we have a strict policy on not sharing technology. But we are open to negotiating an alliance between our worlds. However, I am not the one who would make that decision. I am only the leader of this village. But, here is not the time for that. Today we will celebrate meeting new friends. Come, drink."
Mary Lou removed her gaze from Teal'c face (it had barely left him during the whole conversation) to find herself being offered a large cup. She took it, smiling her thanks, and noticed that everyone had a similar cup.
"Here is to the future," Norjil announced, raising his cup.
Mary Lou sniffed at the drink before she took a sip. It looked and smelt vaguely like some of her own herbal teas. She took a sip. 'This stuff is fantastic.' With very little hesitation, she drained the cup.
Too far away for her to hear, Daniel was also drinking the murky liquid with appreciation.
"This is wonderful," he enthused to the village Elder he'd been talking to. "What is it?"
The Elder smiled. "We call it caffeine."
Ages ago, I planned to put all my fanfic on my LJ, and I um...forgot. Anyway, here's one of my Stargate fanfics.
RATING: 13s and over
SUMMARY: Decaf vs. regular - let the battle begin.
SPOILERS: Very, very slight ones for "Stargate" (the movie), "Singularity", "There But For The Grace of God", "The Serpent's Lair", "Crystal Skull" and "Fair Trade".
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, alas. Mary Lou and the story itself are mine though.
Coffee Breaks
by Arnie
Colonel Jack O'Neill, (that handsome, dashing, US Airforce officer) sighed to himself as he walked down the corridor. He didn't need to ask Janet to know that Sam was going to be stuck in the Infirmary for quite a while to come.
He knew that the last mission had been rough, especially as Carter had ended up with a broken leg, broken collarbone, two black eyes ('Great impersonation of a panda there, Carter!'), a sprained wrist and a wrenched ankle... but how on earth she'd managed to become infected with the measles, the flu, shingles and bronchitis was beyond him.
He shook his head. After all the time he'd spent getting her housetrained (in a manner of speaking) and now he was going to be stuck with another scientist/officer for at least two months. 'Wonder if Maybourne had a hand in this?'
~*~
"Colonel, this is Major Connor." Hammond sat back in his chair and watched. He couldn't wait to see what O'Neill made of this one.
Jack's jaw almost dropped. The officer in question was beautiful... even that word didn't do her justice... she was stunning! Her Airforce uniform accentuated her figure in a way that Jack didn't even know was possible. He managed to keep his mouth shut (doing an impersonation of a goldfish in Hammond's office wasn't on his to do list), and shook Connor's hand with a modicum of composure.
"Sir!" Connor said, smiling. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard all about you and SG-1."
Her charming, winsome, lovely smile lit up the drab office and made Jack blink.
"Uh..." He managed to recover his wits slightly (well, the two he had left). "Nothing good, I'll bet," he said, grinning.
"On the contrary, Colonel. The reports I read were most complimentary."
"Oh." Jack felt a bit non-plussed. He had just made a joke then, hadn't he? "Well, let me show you around."
"Thank you, sir. General." Major Mary Lou Connor snapped a salute to Hammond and then followed Jack from the office.
"Ah, just the person! Daniel," Jack called having spotted the archaeologist making his way to the messhall for yet another infusion of caffeine.
"Jack?" Daniel hesitated. He hadn't had a cup of coffee in at least twenty minutes and the withdrawal symptoms were starting to show. He hopped from one foot to the other, politeness saying that he wait for Jack, while his need for caffeine insisted that he head for the messhall and stick his head in the urn as quickly as possible.
"Wait up! We'll grab some coffee and then give Major Connor the grand tour."
Daniel relaxed slightly. Okay, they were going for coffee. He could wait. He glanced at his watch. Had Jack always walked this slowly?
"Connor, this is Daniel Jackson. Daniel, this is Major Connor. She's taking Carter's place while she's stuck in the Infirmary."
"Oh, ah... hi." Daniel's need for coffee was increasing every second. His supreme caffeine addiction took second place then as the incredibly gorgeous woman walking towards him greeted him fluently in Goa'uld. "Huh?"
Jack sighed. For a guy with 23 languages at his disposal, sometimes Daniel could be remarkably short on words.
Daniel gaped at the woman for a second, then slowly responded. His face relaxed as she explained (reverting back to Jack's one and only language, thankfully) that she had a PhD in languages herself and had made a point of learning to speak Goa'uld once she'd heard she was being transferred to the SGC.
"You've got a PhD in languages," Jack echoed. "And er... how many languages do you speak?"
"Twenty seven," Connor replied matter of factly. "I've always had a thing for languages."
"Me too," said Daniel.
"Yes, Doctor Jackson, I know. I've read your file." Mary Lou smiled at the good looking archaeologist walking by her side.
"Oh, uh... yeah." Daniel frowned slightly. Had everyone read his file?
Just then they reached the messhall. Daniel headed straight for the coffee urn and lost no time in ordering his super-duper-extra-large-incredibly-strong coffee (with extra caffeine for that added kick). As an afterthought, he also grabbed some cookies. Jack frowned. Was it his imagination or was Daniel's coffee addiction getting out of hand? Of course, the thought had crossed his mind when he'd caught Daniel trying to smuggle a large coffee pot and 20 pounds of extra strong coffee beans through the wormhole on their last mission, but he'd put that down to Daniel being Daniel. Although, now he came to think of it, the last time they were under attack by the Goa'uld, Daniel had gone back to save his coffee pot from being captured and reported MIA. Jack shook his head. 'Nah, just imagining things.'
Major Connor ordered a herbal tea and turned to regard Daniel as he slipped cookie after cookie into various pockets. Her eyebrows rose when she saw the size of the coffee cup he was handed, and her eyes bulged slightly as he briskly stirred the coffee and threw away the partially dissolved spoon.
"You know, caffeine isn't good for you," she remarked, gazing into her own cup where the murky liquid of herbal tea awaited her.
Daniel paused, his whole body betraying his urge to defend his beloved caffeine.
Jack intervened quickly. "Ahh, we wouldn't know Daniel without his coffee fix." He grabbed his own standard size of non-plastic-spoon-dissolving-coffee and headed for the door. "C'mon, Major. We've got lots to see. Danny-boy, you coming?"
"Er... I've got some stuff to do. I'll catch up with you later." Danny hadn't actually planned to go back to his office but he didn't think he'd be able to enjoy his coffee with Major Tight-ass... 'I have been hanging around with Jack too long'... with Major Connor disapproving of every sip.
Jack grinned at him. "Have fun!"
~*~
"Well, Major, this is the 'gate room..." Jack indicated the vast Stargate which dominated the room, "and this..."
"Is the Stargate itself," Connor interrupted him. She'd been mostly silent all the way around the SGC, (like any good showman, Jack had kept the best until last). Now her silence was broken, as she moved forward to touch the huge ring which had dominated her ambitions for so long.
Jack listened to her murmuring, but once he realised that she was raving on about the 'gate, its structure, its abilities etc, he sort of switched off. Vaguely, he thought that she sounded a lot like Sam... except that Sam managed to be a lot more interesting. He watched a fly as it buzzed around, the noise of its wings mingling with the woman's voice until he wasn't quite sure which sound he was actually hearing.
Major Connor realised that Jack had ceased to listen to her, in fact, he seemed to be rather absorbed in the bluebottle which was flitting from place to place. 'Maybe he has an interest in insects.'
She went to stand next to him and cleared her throat. "So, Colonel..."
"Huh?" O'Neill's attention snapped back to the gorgeous beauty at his side. "Oh, sorry, Major. Thinking."
Mary Lou smiled slightly. She wasn't used to losing men's attention and for a second it annoyed her. She shrugged off the feeling and got back to the matter in hand. "Colonel, you've known Dr. Jackson for quite a while."
"Oh yeah, ever since that first mission to Abydos," Jack said absently, allowing his attention to wander again.
"Has he always been so addicted to caffeine?"
"Huh?" Now she had his attention in full. "Addicted? I'd hardly use that word to describe it. Mesmerised, maybe... fascinated..."
"Hmm." Mary Lou cocked her head slightly. "It's often a fact that friends find it hard to acknowledge when someone is addicted."
"Excuse me?" Jack didn't care how beautiful or totally over-qualified this woman was, he was going to put her straight on something. "Dr. Daniel Jackson drinks coffee... he doesn't take pot or heroin - hell, he doesn't even smoke!"
"Well, sir, caffeine is an addiction, even if it is a socially acceptable one."
Jack looked at her with disbelief. She was calling Danny an addict?
The technicians were watching with avid interest. They'd all noticed Major Connor come into the 'gate room, (most of them had been watching her ever since), but this promised to be even more interesting; several of them having experienced Jack's protective streak where Daniel was concerned.
"In fact, sir, maybe it would be helpful if you encouraged him to switch to herbal teas. The nutrients contained with herbal teas can be very beneficial. I've heard that Dr. Jackson is rather prone to being... shall we say... accident prone?" she said, patronisingly. "And he might find that herbal teas could help him."
Jack gazed at the pompous woman with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. "I doubt if it would help him withstand a blast from a staff weapon though. Or being zapped into invisibility by a crystal skull."
She made a noise that he assumed was her version of laughter. "Of course not, sir, but it might help him avoid such things."
Jack sighed. Why him? He decided to point out a few things, as calmly as he could. "I doubt it. The first time he got hit by a staff weapon he was saving my life, the second time he was in an alternate reality and the third time he was on a Goa'uld mothership. As for the crystal skull incident, well, Daniel likes to examine things. Now look, Major, I don't care that you've chosen to see caffeine as a vice, but you will keep your personal opinions to yourself, especially around Dr. Jackson. Is that understood?"
"Well, sir, I was just..."
"No, you were not." Jack was getting more annoyed by the second.
Major Connor smiled slightly, moistened her lips and tried again. "All I was saying...."
"Well, don't." Jack cut her off.
"Very well, sir." Connor remained silent hoping that she'd managed to make the colonel think about his pet archaeologist and his caffeine addiction.
~*~
After leaving Connor, Jack headed over to see Daniel. He was pleased to see that the bucket sized coffee cup was still full... until he noticed the steam rising from it.
"Get yourself more coffee?" he asked casually.
Daniel took a huge gulp of the said coffee before answering. "Yeah." He glanced briefly at Jack before continuing to scribble down his translation of the ever so fascinating (and slightly weird) artifact SG-7 had brought back from PX9-521.
"Hmm." Jack wandered around the room. Had Danny's coffee intake got out of hand? Casually, he glanced in the waste bin. It was full of crushed bucket sized styrofoam cups and candy wrappers.
Daniel noticed Jack's glance and followed it down to the bin. "What?" he demanded.
"Nothin'." Jack scrunched up his face slightly and gazed around the room. "You er...you do eat sometimes, don't you, Daniel?" he asked, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah, course I do." Daniel took another gulp of the coffee, his hand grabbing another cookie on its way back from the cup.
Jack grabbed his wrist before the cookie reached his mouth. "It's almost lunchtime, you'll spoil your meal." 'Oh my God, I've turned into my mother!'
Daniel looked up at Jack in confusion. "What's up with you?" He twisted his arm to try to free it, but didn't get it back until Jack had taken the cookie from him.
"Nothin', I just... Let's go eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You were eating cookies."
"Well, I'm not that hungry," Daniel explained.
"You will be by the time we get there," Jack countered, grabbing Daniel's arm and hauling him to his feet. "C'mon."
Making a slight detour to pass Teal'c's room, Jack banged on the door. "Teal'c! Come an' eat."
Teal'c appeared in the doorway. "I am not yet hungry, O'Neill," he answered.
"Well, come and sit with us while we eat... an' we'll sit with you while you eat."
Teal'c considered this. "Is there some reason why...."
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Teal'c. Just come sit with us." Jack could tell from the position of Teal'c's eyebrow that he considered this to be an odd request, but he shut his door and accompanied the pair to the messhall without further comment. Jack did have a reason for Teal'c coming along, but he couldn't tell Teal'c that if Daniel decided to leave without having a proper meal, he figured that the Jaffa would come in handy in helping him persuade Danny otherwise. By force if need be.
~*~
Connor smiled as she saw her team mates gathered around a table. Her eagle eyes spotted Daniel's coffee cup. She was surprised to see that he had made a fairly healthy choice for lunch, from the way he'd been squirrelling away those cookies, she'd thought he must live on them. Gracefully, she made her way over to the table, another cup of herbal tea in her hand.
"Colonel."
Jack looked up. "Major, please join us." He waited until she was seated, then continued, "You've met Daniel," 'and his coffee cup', he added mentally, "and this is Teal'c."
Teal'c inclined his head in greeting. Connor smiled charmingly at the large man sitting in front of her, her eyes flicking to Daniel who was hunched in a protective pose over his coffee.
Jack noticed her glance and, excusing himself, he got up and made his way over to the commissary table. A few quiet questions got him the answers he wanted. Yes, Dr. Jackson always had the largest size cup available, and the strongest coffee available, and yes, that was several times a day. Collecting a bottle of mineral water, Jack returned to his team and took his seat. He was not surprised to find the three of them mostly silent. But Teal'c didn't usually have much to say and Daniel was obviously still feeling miffed over the attack on his beloved coffee (Jack briefly wondered what Daniel would have said if he'd heard her later comments) while Connor seemed to be analyzing the pair of them.
Feeling beholden, after all, he was team leader, Jack started the ball rolling. "So, Major, you've got a PhD in languages."
"Yes, sir," Connor smirked slightly. "Also one in atrophysics and archaeology."
"You must have been very busy in university," Daniel commented.
"Well, Dr. Jackson, some of us thrive on hard work." Her eyes flicked from his face to the coffee cup and back again. For a second Jack thought she was going to follow through with another comment about caffeine but she didn't need to: from the look on Daniel's face, he'd got the gist of it.
Teal'c frowned. He could feel the hostility emanating from SG-1's resident archaeologist. It puzzled him. He had always found Daniel Jackson to be a most unagressive man, unless forced to be otherwise. Teal'c glanced around, perhaps Apophis had made his way into the room without being noticed.
"Astrophysics and archaeology," Jack commented, jokingly. "Working your way through the 'A's?"
Connor looked at him blank faced. "Languages begins with an 'L'.
Jack sat back slightly. Okay, it wasn't one of his best, but... Never mind. He shrugged the incident off. "Okay, kids, we've got a briefing at 1400 hours. Don't be late." He rose to his feet, noticing that Daniel was no less eager to escape from the table. It was going to be a long, long time before Carter was back.
~*~
"Doc? How's she doin'?" Jack kept his voice low in case Carter was asleep.
"She'll be fine," Janet responded. "She was in a lot of pain so I gave her something to help her sleep." She turned and looked at Jack who was hovering behind her. "Anything else?"
"Um... yeah." Jack hesitated.
Janet replaced Sam's chart then led the way into her office. "Okay, what's up?"
Jack fidgeted. He hated this, it was just.... If Daniel found out he'd throw a fit. Finally, he decided to just say it and see what happened. "Do you think Daniel's addicted to coffee?"
"Yes."
Jack waited for a few seconds. "Well?" he demanded when it became apparent that Janet wasn't going to say anything more.
"There's nothing I can do about it. I can't pull him off active duty because he drinks a lot of coffee, all I can do is try and persuade him to switch to decaf... and yes, Colonel, I've tried."
Jack ran his hand through his hair. "That's it?"
"I'm afraid so. Unless Dr. Jackson chooses to stop drinking full strength coffee... and eating candy bars... there's nothing we can do about it. The military regulations don't cover this one."
"Okay. Thanks, Doc."
Jack left the Infirmary. 'There must be something...' He wandered around for a while and then found himself outside the messhall doors. Slowly he grinned. There was something he could do. Ten minutes of fast talking later, Jack left with a smile on his face.
~*~
Hammond started the briefing as usual, but it wasn't long before Major Connor took over. As she was as qualified as Sam, and as qualified as Daniel, it meant she was able to bounce ideas off herself without needing to listen to anyone.
Basically, the UAV had picked up signs of habitation but no sign of the Goa'uld. It was to be just another standard first contact mission.
Jack felt almost dizzy by the time he, with the rest of his team, were waiting for the wormhole to engage. Connor talked more than anyone he knew. Glancing at the normally talkative (but now silent) archaeologist by his side, Jack amended that to 'any two people he knew'.
The wormhole opened and Jack led the way through, closely followed by Connor. Daniel hesitated before stepping through the 'gate. He didn't think he'd be able to listen to Connor for much longer. A thought suddenly occurred. 'Do I talk that much?' It would explain why Jack frequently got a glazed look on his face while listening to him expound yet another way out, wacky, totally improbable (and usually true) theory.
Daniel made a mental note to not talk as much.
Teal'c stopped beside Daniel. "Are you well, Daniel Jackson?" he enquired, concerned as to why Daniel seemed to be reluctant to go.
Daniel glanced up, startled. "Hmm? Oh yeah." He stepped into the wormhole and one wild ride later was standing beside Jack gazing out at the view.
"You stop on the way to buy postcards?" Jack asked, still scanning the area for any signs of danger.
"Uh... no." Daniel shrugged at Jack's questioning look. "It's nothing."
"You okay?"
"Uh huh."
Jack accepted Daniel's reassurance without comment, for the moment. "Okay, kids, let's move out."
They headed down the field, heading across to where some buildings could be seen. Jack, being in the lead, was the first to reach the outskirts of the tiny village. He was also the first to be spotted by a small child.
Jack liked kids, he always got on well with them, so he opened his mouth to say hi and was surprised, and startled, when the child leapt to her feet and fled up the village shrieking loudly.
"Friendly kids," he murmured.
"Perhaps they are unused to visitors," Teal'c offered.
"Or perhaps they think we're Goa'uld," Connor suggested, looking pointedly at Teal'c's tattoo.
Teal'c frowned slightly. He did not like this woman. He did not like the effect she had upon his team mates, well, except for Major Carter who was asleep in the Infirmary. His thoughts upon how soon Major Carter could rejoin SG-1 were interrupted by the return of the child, accompanied by the entire village. All of whom were armed with technologically advanced weapons.
"Heads up," murmured Jack. "Daniel...."
Heeding Jack's unspoken command, Daniel stepped forward to attempt to greet these people, but was stopped by Major Connor.
"We come in peace," she announced, in English, then French, then German.
Jack's head snapped around and he stared at her as she proceeded to make the same announcement in various languages. Jack knew that if he didn't stop her, they'd get to hear all twenty seven of the languages at her disposal. And he thought Daniel talked too much? 'I'll never complain again!'
"Major?"
She continued, totally ignoring him.
"Major Connor?"
She gave no sign that she'd heard.
"Can it, Major!" Jack snapped.
She stopped and stared at her commanding officer, outraged.
One of the villages stepped forward and looked at Jack, his eyes lingering on the weapon Jack held. "Thank you," he said quietly, in English.
Jack was puzzled. "For...?"
"For stopping her. Another word, and I would have had to vaporize her," the man declared.
"A custom of yours?" Daniel enquired.
"No. She was driving me nuts."
The major's shocked gasp was clearly heard. Jack grinned widely at the man. Daniel gave a strangled snort and turned away to hide his laughter, his shoulders shaking, while even Teal'c had a smirk on his face.
"I am Norjil," the man announced. "This is my village. You are most welcome." He held out his hand and shook Jack's firmly.
"Colonel Jack O'Neill." Jack turned and indicated the others. "This is Major Mary Lou Connor, Dr. Daniel Jackson and Teal'c."
"Ah." Norjil moved over and stood in front of Teal'c, his eyes fixed on the gold tattoo that gleamed in the sunlight. "You are Jaffa."
"I am."
"You serve Apophis."
"Uh, Teal'c betrayed Apophis to come and fight with us," Jack interrupted.
Norjil grasped Teal'c's arm with one hand. "Then he is welcome here. Come, we will eat."
~*~
Mary Lou sat at the table, her back rigid. Drive him nuts? What kind of a Neanderthal was he? And the colonel, being friendly with such a man!
'No discipline, that's what the problem is.'
There was Daniel, filled to the gills with non-decaffeinated coffee, and Colonel O'Neill was totally unable to see that Daniel had a problem. All he saw was the boy wonder needing caffeine to keep going. And Teal'c. Hmm. Mary Lou had an interest in psychology and she would have dearly loved to have got inside the Jaffa's head. She believed that he had an obsessive desire to keep his team safe, probably due to his guilty conscience. Unfortunately, Teal'c didn't talk enough for her to be able to analyse him properly. She listened as Teal'c talked with Norjil, hoping to pick up some clues to his psyche.
"Your weapons are unlike any I have seen."
'Mmm. Obviously the warrior in him.'
"We developed these some time ago," Norjil replied, handing one to Teal'c.
Teal'c examined it closely. "I do not believe the Goa'uld have such weapons at their disposal."
'Fixated on the Goa'uld. Always thinking about them.'
"I hope not!" Norjil laughed. "They might come up with a way to circumvent them. We managed to defeat the Goa'uld Heru-ur when he came and tried to claim this planet. Unfortunately, the Goa'uld are very persistent."
"I have noticed," Teal'c replied, an odd look on his face.
'Now that's interesting. Obviously thinking about the Goa'ulds' desire to make an example of him as a Shol'va.'
"Yeah, we've noticed them being...persistent ourselves," Jack grinned.
"From what I've heard, O'Neill, the Tau'ri can be just as persistent," Norjil said, wryly.
"Who've you been talkin' to?" Jack demanded, suspiciously.
"Word of the Tau'ri has reached many planets." There was a grin on Norjil's face that said that not all of the reports had been impressive ones. Even Teal'c had a smile in his eyes.
'Feels superior, does he?'
Jack frowned. Okay, so not all their missions had covered them in glory, especially that mission to PXG 296 (that one had covered them in something else). In fact he'd believed that smell would never fade, but most of their... less inspiring missions had been confined to reports (and certainly never mentioned to the Tok'Ra). Briefly, Jack wondered if Sam had told her father about some of those missions but dismissed it. Sam hadn't been smelling of roses a few times herself.
"So, Norjil, any chance us borrowing a few of those weapons to help fight off the Goa'uld?"
"I'm sorry, O'Neill, but we have a strict policy on not sharing technology. But we are open to negotiating an alliance between our worlds. However, I am not the one who would make that decision. I am only the leader of this village. But, here is not the time for that. Today we will celebrate meeting new friends. Come, drink."
Mary Lou removed her gaze from Teal'c face (it had barely left him during the whole conversation) to find herself being offered a large cup. She took it, smiling her thanks, and noticed that everyone had a similar cup.
"Here is to the future," Norjil announced, raising his cup.
Mary Lou sniffed at the drink before she took a sip. It looked and smelt vaguely like some of her own herbal teas. She took a sip. 'This stuff is fantastic.' With very little hesitation, she drained the cup.
Too far away for her to hear, Daniel was also drinking the murky liquid with appreciation.
"This is wonderful," he enthused to the village Elder he'd been talking to. "What is it?"
The Elder smiled. "We call it caffeine."