Coffee Breaks part 2

[dimity_blue]

Two hours later, Mary Lou had had another cupful (she was disappointed to find that two was the limit) and she was bouncing off the houses. She'd never felt so good! She'd also managed to corner two of the women from the village, who happened to be scientists, and was bombarding them with questions. They, being unable to share their technology (especially with someone as goofily high on caffeine as she was) managed to evade her questions with skill and grace. And sometimes outright refusal.

Mary Lou plopped herself down on the seat next to Jack. While he continued talking to Norjil, she fidgeted endlessly.

Daniel, who wasn't as affected as she was (after all, he drank enough coffee to be used to sudden caffeine rushes), sat down next to her. "Major? Are you all right?" he asked.

Jack's head turned slightly so he could hear what was going on.

The major took a deep breath and leaned forward, placing one hand affectionately on Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel. I have to tell you this," she said, almost jerkily. "Caffeine's a drug. You're an addict. Go get de-toxed and drink herbal tea like me. You'll feel wonderful!" She flung out her hand to emphasise the wonderful, and hit Jack on the chest.

"Major, don't you drink coffee at all?" Daniel asked, casually.

"Not me!" Mary Lou proudly tapped herself on the chest. "Caffeine free, that's me!" She sighed. "This place is wonderful. I feel wonderful. It must be the atmosphere," she declared.

Jack had noticed how quickly she was talking and turned to her. "Major, are you all right?" he said, unconsciously repeating Danny's earlier enquiry.

Connor waved a hand in the air. "It's the atmosphere," she reiterated.

"Or the drink."

Both Jack and Mary Lou looked at Daniel.

"The drink. It's caffeine. Pure caffeine," he explained.

Mary Lou felt the words bounce around her skull, but wasn't really up to making sense of them. "Well, it's wonderful." She nodded enthusiastically.

Jack looked at Daniel. "So she's high on caffeine?"

Daniel nodded, trying very hard to stop the smirk (of seeing the mighty fallen) from crossing his face and taking up permanent residence there. "If she drank coffee it wouldn't affect her nearly as much. You're not affected, neither am I. But she doesn't drink any caffeine, so...."

Jack looked at the bright spark that was his temporary second in command. "She's high as a kite."

"Higher."

"Norjil," Jack turned back to the leader, "we have to leave."

Norjil smirked at Jack. "I know. Do not worry, O'Neill, you and your people are most welcome to visit here again."

Leaving was not a problem, persuading Connor to walk in a straight line and not do her very own Tigger impersonation was. In the end, Jack grabbed her arm and hauled her along, wishing (for the fiftieth time) that Sam was not stuck in a hospital bed and he was not stuck with Mary Lou.

~*~

While Fraser was dealing with Major Connor's sudden burst of hyperactivity, Jack slipped out of the Infirmary and made his way to Daniel's office, stopping only to grab a large paper bag from his own office. Once there, he searched through the cupboard until Daniel's whole stash of extra strong coffee beans was on the desk in front of him. Working as quickly as he could (although he knew Janet would stall Daniel if she had to), he opened every bag and replaced the lot with the decaf coffee beans he'd persuaded the Doctor to buy on her way into work that day. By the time he'd finished, Daniel wouldn't have guessed that his coffee beans had been tampered with. Jack grinned. He never would have thought that one day he'd be thankful to his Special Ops training for helping him switch coffee beans on one unsuspecting archaeologist.

~*~

The next morning, Connor was back to normal. She was also extremely annoyed that she'd been 'tricked' into drinking caffeine, and was ready to go to war on the issue with Daniel. She made her way to the messhall. Waiting for her order of herbal tea, plus the healthiest breakfast they had, she turned and surveyed the room. There was no sign of any of her team mates.

Daniel was in his office, being bugged by Jack. Jack hadn't had time the night before to get to the bottom of Daniel's silence, but he'd guessed it was connected to their newest (and thankfully, temporary) team member.

"Daniel."

"Jack." Daniel didn't even glance up from the artifact he'd almost finishing translating.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Daniel did look up, briefly, at that. "Talk about what?" His gaze returned to the tablet, his hand scribbling down the words his brain was deciphering.

"Major Connor."

The pen slipped slightly, then continued. "What about her?"

"Her attitude to coffee."

Another slip. "What about it?"

"Or your attitude to her."

Daniel put the pen down. "What are you talking about? I've been polite to h...."

"Yeah, Daniel. Polite. That shows how much you don't like her."

"I...."

"Within ten minutes of meeting Carter, you were talking the hind leg off a donkey about your ideas. And she wasn't far behind you. But you've barely said a word to Major Connor." Jack paused. Daniel had that hunted look in his eyes. "And I know why!"

"Jack...."

"She's got a thing about coffee and you hate that. Hell, I hate that and I'm not as crazy about the stuff as you are."

Silence.

"Danny, don't let her get to you. As soon as Carter gets back on her feet, she'll be back on the team. Major Connor is just temporary."

"I know that." Daniel shrugged and sat back in his chair. "It's not just her attitude to me. She seems to have some kind of a problem with Teal'c."

"Yeah."

"You noticed?"

"Bit difficult to miss," Jack retorted. "Although, I think she's got a problem with me too."

Daniel smiled slightly. "Yeah."

"So, you gonna be okay?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah."

"Come on. Let's go get breakfast. Then I can return to my office and start filling in all those ever so interesting forms the Pentagon wants to read and you can get back to your rocks."

"Artifacts."

"Whatever." Jack watched Daniel drain his coffee cup and hid his smile. Daniel didn't know it, but that was his last cup of real coffee.

~*~

"Major Connor." Jack's half smile (which never got near his eyes) hid his annoyance that Mary Lou was still in the messhall when he and Daniel got there.

"Colonel. Doctor Jackson."

"Major." Daniel hovered for a second, then dumped his breakfast and enormous coffee cup on the table Mary Lou was sitting at and sat down. He noticed how her eyes lingered on the coffee cup and the twitch of her eyebrows.

Resolutely, she looked up and smiled at him. If she was going to reform the man, she'd have to make him like her first. 'Shouldn't be difficult.'

Jack sat down too. He wasn't that keen on sitting with the major, but he didn't want to miss Daniel's first sip... gulp... of decaf. He wasn't disappointed.

Mary Lou had initiated a conversation on languages, knowing that Daniel wouldn't be able to keep quiet. Within five minutes she'd got him talking, although he still hadn't touched his coffee. Every now and then his hand would stray towards the cup automatically. Finally, the craving grew too strong (and the conversation too interesting) and Daniel took a mouthful.

He swallowed, then continued talking, waiting almost subconsciously for that first rush of delicious caffeine to go racing around his system. His voice faltered slightly. He glanced down at the cup to reassure himself that this was coffee, a frown on his face.

Mary Lou hadn't noticed. She was determined to ignore his dependancy upon caffeine until he liked her enough to take her advice, but as he stayed silent, gazing into the coffee cup as though expecting to see some kind of answer come floating to the top, she realised that something was wrong.

"Dr. Jackson? Daniel?" She laid a hand on his arm. "Is something wrong?"

His head jerked up. "Uh...no. I just... Excuse me." Standing, he grabbed the cup and headed back over to the commissary table.

Jack turned and watched him. His face showing only concern and none of the avid interest he was feeling. He wasn't close enough to hear the words, but from the waving around of that coffee cup and the various gestures in the direction of the coffee pot, he could tell that Dr. Jackson wasn't happy with his coffee. A few minutes later, and Daniel was back at the table, his coffee cup in his hand and a frown still on his face.

When Major Connor repeated her enquiry about something being wrong, Jack could tell that it was struggle for the archaeologist to reply politely.

"No...nothing... Thank you." Was all the answer she got. A few minutes later, Daniel excused himself and left.

Jack gave him enough time for the coffee that Daniel was undoubtedly brewing in his office to be ready, then followed. He did manage to hide his smirk until he was away from Mary Lou's sharp eyes though.

Daniel stared down into his second cup of undrunk coffee that day. He didn't understand. It just didn't taste right. His musings on life, coffee, the universe, coffee and everything important (coffee, coffee and coffee) were interrupted by Jack.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Jack... does your coffee taste okay?"

"Yeah."

"It's... it's just...." Daniel stared into the coffee cup again. "I don't know...."

"What?"

"It just doesn't... taste right."

Jack frowned. "Like what?"

"It tastes... wrong somehow."

'And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the shortest explanation ever offered by Dr. Daniel Jackson, PhD.'

"Okay." Jack sat down, obviously willing to give this matter his entire attention. "You had two cups of that caffeine last night, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I only had one. Maybe that's why."

"But my coffee was fine earlier."

"Maybe your system's just overloaded with it," Jack offered, thinking as quickly as he could.

"I guess." Daniel sighed and took another mouthful of his coffee. He hoped it would get back to normal soon. He needed his coffee.

~*~

Janet looked up from Sam's chart as Daniel came in.

"Hi," he said softly, so as not to disturb her. "How is she?"

"Ask her yourself," Janet replied, moving out of the way so Daniel could see that Sam was awake, then heading for her office.

"Hi, Sam."

"Hey, Daniel." Sam sighed. Everything still felt rather fuzzy to her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Oh... okay. Just... tired. I think it's the er... the painkillers." Sam had to stop and think of the word she wanted. 'Must be more fuzzy than I thought.'

"I know that feeling," Daniel grinned.

"Mmm." Her eyes closed for a few seconds, then opened as she fought off the impending snooze. "How's the erm... erm... new...."

"Major?" He took the noise Sam made for assent and continued. "Oh, she's fine. She's okay. We miss you."

One eyebrow twitched in his direction.

"Oh, she's nice and everything. Just... not you. She doesn't get Jack's jokes."

Half a frown. "Nn?"

"No. I uh... I don't think she's got much of a sense of humour."

"Uh. Oh... T'l?"

"Teal'c? Oh, he's okay with her. But I think he misses you too."

Sam smiled vaguely in Daniel's direction, her eyes closed. It was nice to be missed. She sighed again.

After a few seconds, Daniel realized that she was asleep. "Sleep well, Sam," he murmured then turned to leave.

"Daniel?" Janet was standing in the doorway. "You okay?"

"Uh... yeah. Just... I'm okay."

"Just...?"

Janet had noticed the frown on his face, and as she was privy to Jack's ambitious 'de-toxing Daniel' plan (as he called it), she was fairly sure that Daniel must be fighting a headache as the caffeine withdrawal worsened.

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Headache?"

"Uh...." He shrugged. "Only... a... a bit. It's nothing."

"Hmm. You might have caught Sam's flu. Come on, let's check."

Slowly, Daniel followed her over to the examining table.

~*~

"Well," she said finally, "you don't have flu. But I don't know why you've got a headache." She handed him two tablets and a glass of water. "These should help with the headache and you might try getting some sleep."

"I'll be fine," Daniel insisted.

"Okay, but if the headache doesn't go by tonight, come back." She watched as he headed towards the door. "I mean it, Daniel, get some sleep."

He gave her that half smile that said 'not a chance' and left.

Once back in his office Daniel made himself a cup of coffee and sat down. 'I hope this headache clears soon,' he thought as he pulled his notebook towards him. Blinking a few times, he frowned at the translation he'd been working on but a bang on the door interrupted him.

"Hey," Jack said, sticking his head around the door. Janet had warned him about the side effects of caffeine withdrawal, and she'd just phoned him to let him know it was starting.

"Hey, Jack."

'Geez, Danny, you look like hell.' "So, whatcha up to?"

"Translating." Daniel glanced up, a flicker of a smile on his face. "Or trying to."

"Maybe you could get Major Connor to give you a hand."

"It'll be fine. Anyway, she's off playing with Sam's naquadah reactor."

"Well, it is on the must-have list for Christmas," Jack quipped, then added, "Why don't you get some sleep. You look tired."

Daniel looked straight at Jack.

'Oops.'

"Have you been talking to Janet by any chance?"

"I went in to see Sam and the Doc said that you'd been in with a headache," Jack lied.

"I did not go in with a headache. I went in to see Sam and I just happened to have a headache," Daniel protested.

"So, has it gone yet?"

"Janet gave me some painkillers."

"And you took them?"

"Yes."

Jack was amazed. Daniel must have had one hell of a headache if he actually took the damn things. "Okay," was all he said though.

Daniel sighed and sat back in his chair. He knew he wasn't going to get rid of Jack that easily. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Uh... you comin' over for the game tonight?"

"There's a game on tonight?" 'Does the ice hockey season ever end?'

"Course there's a game on. I've got 139 sports channels ya know."

"Oh, yeah." 'Let me guess, another fascinating repeat of last year's ice hockey play off between Population-Of-One-Ville and Never-Been-Heard-Of-Ville.'

Jack waited.

Silence.

"So, you comin'?"

"Uh... I think I'm gonna be busy... doing this translation." Daniel hoped his lie would get him out of it.

"Come on! Sitting in here, translating some old rock..."

"Artifact."

"...that says 'Caesar was here', or at home with me, drinkin' a cold beer, eatin' pizza and watching a play off."

'The temptation.' "You know, Jack, I think I'll take the translation."

Jack was indignant. Translation over ice-hockey? Daniel needed more than de-toxing. He grabbed Daniel's notebook before the linguist could start scribbling again, and waved it around to emphasise the various points he was making.

"Do you realise how much time you spend... time when you're not actually supposed to be workin'... starin' at rocks?"

"Artifacts."

"Daniel, there's so much more to life than this base, ya know? I know you go off world and stare at rocks there too..."

"Artifacts."

"...but apart from that, do you actually have a life? I mean, all you can see in your apartment is a pile o' rocks..."

"Artifacts."

"...in fact, if it wasn't for me and my mild interest in ice-hockey, you wouldn't even have a TV!"

"Artifacts."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Daniel, what I'm sayin' is... and Carter 'n' Teal'c'd agree with me here... you need to get out more."

"Jack, can I have my notebook back? I really have to get on with this."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud - where you even listenin' to what I was sayin'?"

"Course I was, Jack. I just... well...." Daniel yawned, surprising himself and Jack.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just... uh... I just feel a bit... tired." Daniel yawned again.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Uh... well...."

"Oh for cryin' out loud, Daniel. What did you do? Spend all night starin' at that damned rock?"

"Ar...." The word was interrupted by another yawn.

'Geez, I had no idea Daniel had that big a mouth.' "Tell you what, I'll go and get you some coffee."

"I... I got...."

"I'll get you some from the messhall."

"Okay... thanks, Jack." Daniel barely managed to get the words around the yawns that were interrupting him.

"Okay." Jack shut the door behind him and waited, counting to ten very slowly. Then he opened it again, and peered around it and grinned. 'Bingo!'

Five minutes later, he and Teal'c crept into Daniel's office. Jack continued to smirk as they carefully lifted him out of his chair, carried him to his on base quarters and settled him on the bed. As Jack removed Daniel's boots and glasses then covered him with a blanket, Daniel remained totally comatose, snoring softly the whole way through.

It wasn't until they had left Daniel's room and were on their way to the messhall that Teal'c spoke.

"Why do you smile, O'Neill?"

Jack clapped his partner in crime on the shoulder. "Because Daniel is on his way to being caffeine free, Teal'c. Now remember, you promised, not a word to Daniel."

"I will keep my promise."

"I know, Teal'c. I know."